Archive for the ‘Love’ Category
Samarinda, East Kalimantan
December 20, 2011
Marsih, An employee of Resort City Police Samarinda, East Kalimantan, poured by gasoline and burned her own husband. She suffered burns up to 60 percent. The act was done in front of the child victim. It was done by Sumantri because he is reluctant to divorce from his wife. Not only Marsih,Sumantri also affected by a bolt of fire and suffered 40 percent burns. Both were treated at the Islamic Hospital Samarinda. Currently the police are still asking the details number of witnesses from the family. Perpetrator closely guarded for fear of escape.
Based on Act No. 23 of 2004 on the Elimination of Domestic Violence Law of Indonesia; domestic violence is any action against a person, especially women, which result in misery or suffering physical, sexual, psychological, and / or negligence of household including threat to commit acts, coercion, or deprivation of liberty against the law within the domestic sphere.
Elimination of Domestic Violence Law was born through a long struggle for about seven years conducted the women’s movement activists of the share element. In Indonesia, a formal legally, these provisions come into force since 2004. The mission of this Act is an effort, endeavor for the elimination of domestic violence. With this provision, means the state could attempt to prevent the occurrence of domestic violence, prosecution of domestic violence and protect victims of domestic violence.
Something that previously could not happen, because it is considered as an internal matter of one’s family. The reason is expressly said that, the action physical violence, psychological, sexual, and neglect of household (economic abandonment) done within the domestic sphere is a crime. These actions may be common and can occur between the husband to his wife and vice versa, or parents against their children. As legislation that requires special arrangements, in addition to criminal sanctions contained setting, this law also regulates the procedural law, the obligation of the state in providing immediate protection to victims who report. Thus, it can be said that this provision is an important legal breakthrough for efforts to uphold human rights, especially protection against those who have been harmed in a family or household order.
In numbers, wives who are victims of domestic violence was 96 percent, of the total 136 thousand more cases of violence in personal relationships. The pattern is dominated by domestic violence sexual and psychological violence. While physical violence is smaller in number under the economic violence. Violence against women also occurs during courtship, violence by ex-husband or ex-boyfriend, and against domestic workers. Violence against women as whole rise 263 percent to 143.586 cases during 2009 (January to December).
Causes of domestic violence
In Indonesia, domestic violence is difficult to resolve, it is because many people who do not know that their actions or action that they are received from their partner is included in domestic violence, and perpetrators may also feel that his actions were protected by the prevailing norms in society, that is not polite when intervene in the household of others when there are fights (internal matter). This norm has indirectly led to the perpetrator feel protected from state laws when they are apply to domestic violence.
It also can cause by:
1) The public raising boys by growing confidence that the boys should be strong, brave and intolerant.
2) Men and women are not positioned equally in society.
3) Perceptions of violence in the household must be closed because it is a family problem and not a social problem.
4) an erroneous understanding of religious teachings about the rules educate wives, wives to their husbands obedience, respect for the position of her husband resulting in the perception that men should control women.
5) Culture that wife relies on her husband, especially economics.
6) Personality and psychological conditions of husband who is not stable.
7) Have experienced violence in childhood.
8) Culture that men are considered superior and women inferior.
9) Doing imitation, especially the boys who live with parents who often do violence to his mother or himself.
Effort to recover the victims on domestic violence
Elimination of Domestic Violence Law is the first regulation governing the rights of victims. Rights of victims of domestic violence in the Elimination of Domestic Violence Law in Article 10 which include the following:
1. protection of the family, police, prosecutors, courts, advocates, social institutions, or any other party either temporarily or based on the determination of a court protection order;
2. Health services in accordance with medical needs;
3. Special handling related to the confidentiality of the victim;
4. Assistance by social workers and legal assistance at every level of the examination process in accordance with the provisions of legislation; and
5. Spiritual guidance services.
Efforts to prevent domestic violence are a mutual obligation between the government and society. This corresponds to a locus of domestic violence in the private sphere, so the government cannot simply go in and monitor the household directly. And so we need community involvement in monitoring and preventing the occurrence of domestic violence in the neighborhood. The obligation of this community accommodated in articles 14 and 15 of Elimination of Domestic Violence Law. Even in chapter 15 are detailed on duty “every person who heard, saw, or know the occurrence of domestic violence shall make efforts in accordance with the limit of his ability to a) prevent the continuation of crime; b) provide protection to victims; c) to provide relief emergency; and d) assist the application process protection setting.
Article 44 of Law Number 23 Year 2004 on domestic violence.
- Anyone committing acts of violence, physical within the domestic sphere as referred to in Article 5 letter a shall be punished with imprisonment of 5 (five) years or a maximum fine of Rp 15,000,000.00 (fifteen million rupiahs).
- In the event that acts as referred to in paragraph (1) resulted in the victim had fallen ill or serious injury, shall be punished with imprisonment of 10 (ten) years or a fine of not more Rp30.000.000, 00 (thirty million rupiahs).
- In the event that acts as referred to in paragraph (2) resulted in the death of the victim, shall be punished with imprisonment of 15 (fifteen) years or a maximum fine of Rp 45,000,000.00 (forty five million rupiahs).
It not only happens in Indonesia but even in developed and advance countries like Australia recently Rajini Narayan who killed her husband by burning first his penis and then him completely. Have a look at the full story what had gone between them and male who think himself always superior and powerful to woman. However it seems like slowly but gradually women are claiming their rights which they could have claimed much earlier.
A woman who burned her husband to death after “snapping momentarily” has become the third battered wife in seven years to avoid jail for manslaughter in Australian court history.
The Supreme Court today suspended Rajini Narayan’s six-year sentence for killing her cheating husband, Satish, in December 2008.
Justice John Sulan said the killing was due to “momentary” anger and “muddled” thinking, and that Narayan was truly remorseful for her actions.
“Although it is often said … that a suspended sentence is not a sentence at all, it’s a real sentence and can be brought into effect if there is a failure to comply with specified conditions,” he said.
“It is wrong to regard suspended sentences as letting an offender walk free as if he or she has not been punished.
“It seems (Narayan) has suffered a great deal already.”
Narayan, who sat with her back to the public gallery for much of the hearing, fought back tears as the sentence was announced.
Her eldest daughter ran to the front of the court room to embrace and kiss her mother.
Narayan, 46, is the third woman in seven years to avoid an immediate jail term for manslaughter.
In 2004, Riverland woman Gwenda Elaine Savcic received a suspended three-year term for killing her husband, Mark.
Savcic fatally stabbed her husband with a samurai sword after silently enduring 19 years of abuse at his hands.
Justice Ted Mullighan ruled the stabbing – the first time Savcic had ever stood up to her husband – was an act of “excessive self-defence”.
In 2009, Noreen Jessamine Weetra received a suspended five-year term for killing her partner, Ross Owen Calyun.
Police had been called to the couple’s home 10 times in three years before Weetra struck back, stabbing Calyun in the heart in front of her children.
Justice Margaret Nyland dubbed her actions “rare and exceptional”, and therefore deserving of a “merciful approach” in sentencing.
Narayan stood trial in the Supreme Court for murder last year.
Prosecutors had alleged she deliberately set her husband, Satish, alight in December 2008 after confronting him about his affair.
Narayan denied this, saying her intention was to “circumcise and purify” her husband who had physically and verbally abused her for 22 years.
She said she wanted to “burn a dot on his penis” with petrol and an “angel candle” she had been given by a fortune teller so that he would not leave her for the other woman.
She compared her “bizarre” idea to the Hindu love story of Lord Ram, who proved the purity of his wife, Sita, with fire after rescuing her from a demon king.
“It would be like circumcision, or just like he placed that red dot on my forehead at the wedding,” she said at trial.
“It was like I had all the powers of the goddess to save my husband, my lord … it did not occur to me that it was going to be dangerous.”
Narayan admitted losing control and throwing the flame and accelerant onto Satish when he called her a “fat bitch”.
Jurors accepted her version of events, acquitting her of murder and finding her guilty of the lesser charge of manslaughter.
In sentencing today, Justice Sulan said Narayan had “deified” her husband and was “shattered” by his betrayal.
He said there was “no doubt” her thinking at the time was “unrealistic, muddled and illogical”.
“For the first time in your life you had confronted your husband, had found the courage to be assertive to the person who had mistreated you for 20 years,” he said.
“His response was to treat you with disdain, dismiss you and turn his back to you (and) you snapped.”
Justice Sulan further ordered Narayan be under Correctional Services supervision for two years, and undertake psychological counseling as ordered.
As woman is becoming more aware and man are becoming more brutal and unforgiving the silence of her soul has now reached at the point of final eruption where now the hidden dark side of once this magnificent human being has now showing her dark side. Man and Woman are just like two sides of one coin and have remained till date but neither of them has ever appreciated or complemented each other. The narrow mind set and venerable behavior of man develops a quality of a deep anger and an uncompromising behavior whereas fear of losing and possessiveness have made woman more reserve and of conservative behavior but as the world becomes more aware of its rights and responsibilities woman too are becoming more open minded and are being more aggressive towards their aims and their self being. This has evolved new twisted positions in the un-balanced relations of opposite genders.
These cases are the new signs of beginning of a new era where woman shares the power in this male dominant world.
SHE suddenly looks out of the window.
“Did I ask you a difficult question?”
“No, no. But it’s a question that has many answers. Have you thought about the meaning of love?”
“Umm… yes… but then who hasn’t!”
“Okay. Why don’t you tell me the meaning of love and I’ll keep listening.”
“Ah and why is that?”
“I find it more interesting if a man talks about love.” She bursts out laughing. “Oh come on I am really curious. I really want to know what you think about love.”
“Okay, okay, Anna you win!” She’s once again turned the tables on me,
“I agree that the question does indeed have many answers. So where would you like me to start?”
“Don’t think too much, Hatef, just say whatever comes to your mind.”
“I am actually thinking what others have already said about love,” I say rubbing my chin. “I can start with Shakespeare’s eternal words: ‘Love does not reason because it has no reasons’. Or perhaps, Aristotle’s: ‘Love is composed of a single soul living in two bodies’ or ‘What is life without love? Love is like the sun; without the light of the sun, there’s no life’. There are others whose names I don’t remember: ‘Love is the most noble weakness of the soul’. Or ‘Whatever your question, Love is the answer’. Or ‘Love is to admire with your heart, admiration is to love with your soul’. Or ‘Love is a disease that makes us unwell when we don’t have it’.
“Hatef,” her interruption has a hint of annoyance, “that’s very impressive, but I’d like to know what you think.”
I’ve got the message, and so I continue: “Well, in my mind love is a lot of things. It’s a powerful feeling… very hard to resist. It’s almost like a chemical reaction. A human being has many layers. And then there are different kinds of love. You can love a car or a house or a certain food.
You can love poetry or football or surfing. You can love your brother or mother or your child, your wife. You can love nature or you can love God. There are many different kinds of love. But I think love is also selfish. It’s both natural and spiritual. Love gives meaning to your life. It
is what makes life worth living when you’re despairing.”
“Hmm… that’s interesting,” she says looking at me with shining eyes,
“love is natural…”
“Yes, the love a mother has for her child is natural. She just gives and gives… to her child unconditionally. She carries the child for nine months, makes him piece by piece from her own tissue and body. She suffers enormous pain giving birth to the child. And she continues giving him her time and energy raising him, trying to make him happy and content.
And if she has to she will happily die for her child. Among animals there are many who mate for life. If one partner dies the other one will not take another. How does a mother learn to love like that? Where does an animal learn to love like that? It is natural. It’s in the blood so to speak… in a mother’s blood, the blood of the animals that mate for life.”
“Do you think that it is the highest kind of love: the love a mother has for her child?”
“Among humans, yes I believe that… the love a mother has for her child is the highest kind of love. And we cannot compare it to any other kind.
This doesn’t mean any other kind of love is less meaningful. I think every sort of love is meaningful and special in its own way. But yes a mother’s love is the purest… because it’s given without expecting anything in return, at least not immediately. It just wishes for the child to
be happy and healthy. And that is my main point. Can we really compare it with any kind of other love?”
“No, I don’t think we can. This love is a great and powerful feeling… I would think… even though I don’t have children…”
“You think right, Anna. The other kinds of love are conditional. They’re bound by expectations. To make them work there has to be a give and take. But these days we think more about taking than giving. Although, none of us would admit it.”
Anna gives me a smile that says ‘I agree’. “So you’re saying, we give to receive but when we don’t receive, we don’t love?”
“Yes, I am saying that. In fact it reminds me of something I once read. I can’t remember exactly who said it but it got me thinking with its simple contradiction. ‘Love is being selfish together’.”
“So if you are selfish alone then there’s no love?”
“Exactly! What I am saying is that both parties need to be selfish for each other. I think there’s no point in a love that is not returned. That kind of love can’t live for long. The other person will only end up getting hurt.”
“So people who say they love someone without being loved in return are actually not in love but in pain?” I like the sound of that question.
“Can it mean anything else?”
“But then, why do people choose to stay with someone who doesn’t love them back?”
“I think it depends upon the kind of person you are. Sometimes people may think what they have is as good as it’ll ever get. And that there’s nothing out there that can make it better for them. It’s a life of convenience and practicality they choose over the lack of love. Some people believe
being in pain is love.”
“Being in pain is love, how?”
“Because the pain makes them feel real… and alive. The more pain someone gives them the closer they feel to that person. I think sacrifice in a relationship is good, because sacrifice is a way of giving. But I think some people only want to sacrifice and expect nothing in return.”
“So you are saying… do whatever makes you happy?”
“Yes. But I’d like to make a differentiation here… whatever might make a person happy, in my opinion, isn’t always love.”
“It is getting a bit confusing, Hatef… if you’re saying a healthy and happy relationship comes from both people being selfish in receiving each other’s love…”
“Yes, because it would mean that giving and receiving will go hand in hand. That way I believe two people complete each other, filled as they are with love for each other. Values like sacrifice, trust, patience, honesty come into play here because these values stand for equality. They also
make a relationship strong.
“Okay and such a relationship is bound to be healthy and will moreover keep alive these wonderful values,” Anna sums it up.
”Yes. Especially because it’s not easy to keep these values alive. They are very precious values for our entire race and if people get attached to them all the more better. It means even if love fades over time people will continue being there for each other just because of these values… It
means you’ll always have someone there for you, in sickness and in health. And you’ll also be there for that person. And that person will be your lover, your best friend in this journey called life. It will also make you forget the less appealing parts of your lover.”
“Just to understand it better, can you elaborate what you call ‘being in love’,” Anna interrupts.
“Well ‘being in love’ is wanting to be with someone because you like being with her. You like the way she looks, you like her touch, the look in her eyes when she looks at you. We call it chemistry. The heat that we feel being around another person. It is exciting and we long to feel it,
keep feeling it. It’s wonderful when this chemistry is reciprocated. But time conquers all. Physical beauty fades as we get older. But still people continue to stay together, even after the reasons that made them fall in love aren’t there anymore. I think with time people go from ‘being in love’ to a love that completes them. A love that glues people together. The values we talked about earlier also help us to fall in love and they remain even when we’re out of love, technically speaking. And that’s why I think it is very important to keep these values alive. They are, I
believe, the ingredients of love.”
The train is now leaving Roedby station.
“Okay,” says Anna, “I understand… that you are trying to convert me…
to your way of thinking.”
“I am only stating my own humble view, Anna.”
“So how does sex fit into all this,” she asks a little hesitantly.
“Well, sex is a very important part of our lives but what is its relation to love? If there’s any! Plato for example believed love to be a deep, spiritual connection between two people. He, in fact, totally denied a sexual element in love. Plato was essentially separating sex from love. And I’d say I don’t disagree with him. I think sex is a human need but its quality and the satisfaction got from it is not the same with everyone you have sex with. Sex with the person you love is special. It has a special passion to it. Sex with someone you don’t love is like eating just to fill your stomach. So in that sense I find it difficult to completely separate sex from love, like Plato did. On the other hand I’d say the sex life of a couple deeply in love may become, how do I say… ‘normal’? Maybe less exciting. At such a point of great familiarity sex may become
predictable and then couples have sex to ‘fill their stomach’.
“I believe the sex life of a couple in love also needs constant work because our sexual limits are far greater than we think. We need to keep exploring them, pushing them in order to keep growing and enriching ourselves.
Tantra, which is an Eastern discipline, is devoted to this kind of constant exploration and enrichment.
“Coming back to the values we talked about earlier… I think people in relationships continue to love each other even if their sex life has becomes monotonous, which anyway is something that can be remedied. What I am essentially saying is that even if the spark isn’t there anymore in the
bedroom a couple can still love each other. From this point of view Plato is right. Love is indeed separate from sex.”
Anna seems quite satisfied with my explanation. “So are you saying that sex is a very important part of life and that we must keep working on it in a relationship… to show our respect for it?”
“You are a good listener, Anna.” I say. “Woman are generally much better listeners than men. You are at this moment a living proof of this for me.”
“Thank you, Hatef, I believe listening is really eighty percent of the process of understanding.”
“Yes this is true, that’s why women are better with feelings and emotions.
They see that much more.”
“Please don’t underestimate yourself, Hatef. From whatever I’ve heard so far I’d say you too see a lot.” I can feel the sides of my face blush.
“You’re very kind, Anna. But I’ve reached this place by a lot of reading, some experience and much thought. A woman, I think, reaches it instinctively.”
This makes Anna smile her angelic smile.
“Well, that may be true but putting effort and energy to understand all this should not go unrecognised. It is in fact even more commendable.
Also because I think it is not always easy for a woman to understand. Also not many men spend that kind of energy and effort trying to find answers to the riddles of love and sex.”
I am by now in a full-blown blush and she’s not helping. “You should feel good about yourself, Hatef, women like men like that.
”But I always thought everyone thought about these things,” I say.
”Believe me, Hatef, I am telling you as a woman… it is not so.”
”In that case I’ll accept your compliment,” I am now smiling despite myself. “I feel quite exceptional now.” We both laugh.
After a few silent moments Anna reaches for her handbag. She takes out some chewing gum, takes a piece and offers me one.
“No thank you, Anna.”
She reaches for her bag again and takes out a can of energy drink.
“Then please take this, I think you need it,” she says.
“No Anna, am all right,” I answer.
“No please. Take it, I am going to quiz you some more… so you need it
more than me,” she says smiling.
“More questions? You really are going to interrogate me some more?”
“Yes sir, I am. So you better take it,” she holds out the drink for me.
“In that case I’ll take it.” I take the drink, open it and I take a sip. I put the can on the table and allow my drink to start doing its job of energizing me.
“Hatef, from what you’ve said so far… I feel all love is spiritual… isn’t that so?”
“Yes I think that is true. Love in all its aspects is spiritual. I also believe love is God himself.”
“So the love we feel is actually the presence of God in us?” “Yes, Sufism teaches us exactly that… that every human being is seeking this God-feeling with his every thought and action. Sufism also teaches that every human being carries within him or her deep desire to return to the love that he or she has come from. Each one of us has been created by the Almighty from his infinite love and whatever we experience in this world is really a journey of trying to get back to where we came from. The love he has put within us is what drives us, pushes us towards
new experiences. We’re like bees drawn to this huge flower called love.”
“Hmm… that’s very interesting. But what do you mean when you say that we desire to reach God with every experience?”
“Well, do you agree that every human being wants happiness? We seek happiness from everything around us: our partner, our job, house, education but every time we think we’ve found it we realise that it is not what we thought it would be. We realise everything we’ve reached is
temporary. So we go on seeking things that make us happy. But every time we think we’ve reached the edge of eternal happiness we are disappointed. We don’t want to admit to our disappointments. Sometimes we measure our lives against people who we think are less fortunate and feel happy.”
“Those are deep words, Hatef, they really speak to both my head and my heart. But how can people less fortunate than us make us happy?”
“It works like this… when we surround ourselves with things and objects of value we become attached, become slaves to them. In a way we are possessed by them instead of us possessing them. And this deludes us into thinking we’re in a better position than others who don’t have what we have.”
“So we begin measuring happiness with what we have…”
“Exactly, and then we begin to worry about losing what we have. This worry makes us actually less happy than someone who hasn’t got as much to lose.”
“That’s so ironical, we actually victims of our desires.”
“A Sufi is a person who’s constantly struggling to free himself of these desires. He’s constantly struggling to reach a state of nothingness. The only desire he has is to reach God, who is everywhere and is undying.
But in order to reach him a human being needs to become nothing; freed from all his desires, all that is temporary and earthly.”
“Wow. That sounds heavy! Maybe, Hatef, you could tell me some more about Sufism.”
“Sufism is the mystical core of Islam. But I also believe every belief system has its own mystical core saying the same thing in a different way. The mystical, spiritual journey of every human being is reach beyond religion, beyond a religious belief.” I wait for her response.
“Please continue, this gets better and better.”
“I am not an expert, you know. Maybe you could do some of your own research…”
“I would definitely, but I really want to hear what you know about it, please carry on.”
I am really pleased by her insistence and her curiosity. I like the respect and admiration she has for different points of view. How nice it is to meet a girl, born and raised in Europe, to be so open about Eastern philosophy. As our world gets more and more steeped in materialism
these kinds of conversations happen less and less. Anna has been a great listener.
‘Nykoebing, Nykoebing!’ The voice of the conductor snaps me out of my thoughts. I sink in my seat further.
“Have you heard about Rumi?” I ask her.
“No, is he a Sufi too?”
“Yes, he’s one of the greatest Sufis ever born. A Sufi master, actually!
Mewlana Celaluddin Rumi has shown us how to become fully human.
To me personally, Rumi’s been the greatest ever professor of the human soul. Through his poetry and his life he taught us how to go beyond the physical, into the metaphysical.”
“Tell me how?”
“How can you, Anna? It is meant for humans not angels.” She starts laughing caught by surprise in the middle of our serious conversation.
“You silly man, stop it!”
“Jokes apart, you too, Anna, could get there with the right teacher and the right attitude. According to Rumi, human beings are the centre of all creation. Everything has been created around man, for him… to make him happy. And no one, regardless of colour, creed, religion or sex can be excluded from this infinite love and grace of the Almighty. The human being is regarded as the khalif, the light of the Creator. He is the only creature on earth with the ability of taking God’s love and spreading it around. But not everyone can use this ability because people are prisoners of their nefs. Nefs is explained as a tether of earthly desires and urges.
For example if hate is part of your nefs, then it will manifest itself as jealousy, pride, etc. This way all the pain and suffering on our planet can be related to the nefs of its human population. But on the other hand, God has also given us his divine characteristics. We have the ability to
love, to show grace and mercy, to be noble, to show patience and understanding, to choose between right and wrong. And so our life becomes a constant struggle, trying to make our divine characteristics prevail over our nefs.”
“This means we’ve not done a good job of our struggle, because there are so many things going wrong in the world. We have so many wars and so much poverty in the world today.”
“Yes, we’ve in fact done a very bad job of it.”
“But then why does God allow it to happen… for example children dying of hunger. Especially, when he has the power to prevent it.”
“Anna, God doesn’t put himself as a controller above us. Someone who constantly intervenes in our daily life. He says, ‘don’t murder’ but there isn’t a hand coming down from heaven every time someone’s going to commit murder. He says, ‘don’t steal’ but people still steal. He says,
‘don’t lie’ but people still lie. But then he has appointed a day when he’ll audit our accounts, so to speak,” I say smiling. “God has given us a map of both Heaven and Hell. But it is up to us to choose what we want. He has given us all the tools to do the right thing. Also given us a free will.
For example there’s enough wealth on this planet to feed and give shelter to each and every one of us, provided we’re willing to share this wealth.
Essentially, we have to overcome our desire to own more than we need.
We should be willing to give away what we don’t need.
“So what prevents us from doing this? Again we come back to our nefs.
It is what makes us selfish and indifferent. The more we overcome our nefs the closer we get to making the world a happier place. We have today people who own millions on the one hand and on the other there are children who’re dying of hunger. God didn’t create this.”
“If I understand correctly, nefs is what we call the Devil. And he prevents us from using all the goodness we possess inside…”
“Yes, you could say that. Metaphors are always helpful. In fact Heaven and Hell according to some Sufis like Muhammed Iqbal are also metaphorical ideas. He believed they’re not physical spaces where we will be going after death but are areas we can create here on earth. Perhaps,
Heaven and Hell exist physically too somewhere on earth and we call them into our lives with our decisions and actions.”
“That is really very deep, Hatef. Could we then say Sufism and other teachings like it are ways of transforming the individual, making him perfect?”
“Well, absolute perfection belongs to God alone. But Sufism talks about a kemal, an individual who has reached the pinnacle of human perfection.
This is the closest we as humans can come to perfection. You see, when we say that God is perfect we don’t mean it by our human standards but that he’s perfect by his own standards. Because we cannot even begin to understand his standards we can never grasp his kind of perfection.”
“I understand. But tell me is the message of Sufism for everyone? Does it for example also apply to people who’re deep in their nefs?”
“Let me answer your question with one of Rumi’s more famous poems.
It’s obviously a translation of the original Persian.
Come, come, whoever you are,
wonderer, worshiper, lover of leaving,
it doesn’t matter.
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come, even if you have broken your vows
a thousand times.
Come again and again, come.
Here Rumi’s trying to tell us how this gift of overcoming our nefs is for everyone, whatever his state in life. He says there isn’t really any reason for guilt and despair.
“I want to add something else about Rumi here. He was greatly inspired by the prophet Mohammed. The Prophet himself was a great Sufi. for example he has said: ‘Die before you are dead’. This in fact is a very important principle of Sufism. A Sufi aims to kill his nefs and be
resurrected in love and compassion. This happens through a process called seyr-e-suluk. Through this process a Sufi reaches total freedom from all his earthly desires. Finally, he aims to reach a state of fena fillah. This is where he merges into God. In Buddhism they call it nirvana. After
reaching fena fillah the Sufi only strives to share his state with others.
And in this striving he exhausts himself day after day… all for the love of God.” I take a deep breath.
“How can I meet this Rumi, is he still around?”
I smile because I like the sound of Anna’s innocence.
“I would really like to meet him too. But he left our world about seven and a half centuries ago. Though I believe, he is here among us with his message.”
“Oh. But Hatef, I am quite dazzled by your words. Do you think you could tell me more about Rumi?”
“Well, Rumi was born in Khorasan, a village near Balkh in present-day Afghanistan in 1207. He was known as Rumi, meaning ‘the Roman’, because he grew up in an area under Byzantine rule at that time. His family travelled to Anatolia and eventually settled in Konya under the Turkish
Seldjuk sultanate. Rumi spent the rest of his life in Konya, which is where he was also buried after he died in 1273. Today, Konya is a place of pilgrimage for Sufis across the world.
“After his death his followers, especially his son Sultan Walad founded the Mawlawiyah Sufi Order. They’re also known as the ‘Whirling Dervishes’ because of the whirling dance they do. A dervish goes round and round on his feet with one hand lifted up to the sky and the other facing the earth, at 90 degrees to each other. The head is bent slightly to the side indicating nobility. The dervishes keep this position through the dance celebrating the scattering of God’s love from above over everyone on earth.
The bent head indicates the exalted position of the dervish as an intermediary between the Creator and the created. Dervishes are known to lose themselves completely while dancing. This trance-like state is called sama.
I have seen dervishes whirl for more than an hour.”
“I think I have seen a picture too. They were dancing… whirling in front of a green-domed building, says Anna.
“Yes, this is probably the dergah or mausoleum of Rumi. It is in Konya.
It is where he is buried alongwith his father and other members of his family. This place is visited by hundreds if not thousands of people daily.
You should go if you’re ever in Turkey.”
“Yes, hopefully I will.”
“I really liked that poem of Rumi you just recited. Is there a book where I can read more?”
I think Rumi’s words have worked their magic on Anna.
“Of course. His most important book is called Masnawi, and it is quite amazing. You can find a translation of the Masnawi on the Internet, perhaps. I also recommend The Essential Rumi by Coleman Barks. I always find great joy when I read Rumi. His poems give me hope and strength in moments of despair. There is actually one that I read often.”
“Can you please read it to me now?”
“I knew you’d say that… Here’s The Guest House dedicated especially to you, Anna:
Man is like a guest house
each day brings a new guest
some days comes Joy; others, Sadness
but Awareness is always
an unexpected visitor.
Rumi says, welcome them all
even if there’s a mob of sorrows
sweeping across your house
emptying it out.
Treat every guest with honour
each one’s come to help you
The pleasant Surprise
the dark Thought, Shame, Malice
meet them all at the door laughing.
Be grateful for whoever comes
because each one has been sent
from the beyond to help you.”
“That is really beautiful, Hatef. It really does have the power to speak to everyone.” She seems moved by it. “I think I have quizzed you enough for a day,” she says smiling.
“Yes, you have young lady, but I never get tired talking about Rumi,” I smile back. We fall in this silence together allowing Rumi to sink into our souls.
“Vordingborg! Vordingborg station!”
Another stop less in our journey.
This post is glimpse of my book A Yoik for Anna – A Journey between Two Worlds
The day that I have been expecting has arrived. After writing about female infanticide and its negative effects such declining in the female population, I read in the news today that young brides has to share bed with her husband’s other brothers who has failed to find wife’s.
If the girl resists, she faces physical violence and some has been burned. These cases are rarely reported to the Police officials as women aren’t allowed to go outside.
Decades of aborting female babies have led to a shortage of women and the worst place to suffer is Baghpat in Uttar Pradesh in Northern India. Other problems are the rising incidents of rape and human trafficking. In rural Bhagpat, women have to veil themselves in the presence of men, forced to stay in the house and be a house wife and child bearer. This view of the female gender has lead to discrimination and made the women worthless.
According to India’s 2011 census, there are only 858 women to every 1,000 men in Baghpat district, compared to the national sex ratio of 940. A May study in the British Medical Journal Lancet wrote that 12 million Indian girls were aborted over the last 3 decades.
Child sex ratios in Baghpat are even more skewed and on the decline with 837 girls in 2011 compared to 850 in 2001 – a trend mirrored across districts in northern Indian states such as Haryana, Punjab and Rajasthan and Gujarat in the west.
‘In every village, there are at least five or six bachelors who can’t find a wife. In some, there are up to three or four unmarried men in one family. Haryana has suffered tremendously and many men struggles to find a bride.
Some families buy brides from other states and others who cannot afford it shares the one daughter in law they have. In traditional dominated regions, sons are seen as asset and breadwinners who will take care of the family and continue the name. Daughters on another hand are regarded as burden because of the dowry tradition and the fact that once they get married, they leave the home.
Personally, in my opinion this act is as wrong as it can get. A marriage is between the husband and wife. When the wife has to share the bed with her brother in laws, that shows that this tradition of female abortion has done its damage. The girls are forced to sleep with her husband’s brothers and this is considered as rape. A corrupt act like this is not allowed by the government but everybody keeps this as a secret in rural areas and since the girls isn’t allowed to go outside, they don’t have the chance to report this.
The only solution is to break these deep rooted ancient traditions and the only way this can happen is to educate the girls, provide them healthcare and other opportunities so that they know their rights and can be independent. Another thing that I have been thinking about lately is that usually when an item is rare, its value increases. No wife means no child.
Though the 20th century‘s history was carved by Hitler & world remembers him as a Holocaust father with just looking at the darkest side of him but in the era of the bloodshed even before the first nuclear experiment started there was a hidden romance flourishing in the heart of the greatest all time villain Adolf Hitler breaking the veins from the clutches of Swastika. Though there were rumors about Fuhrer of having love relations with the two pretty ladies of the radiation era Geli Raubal & Erna Hanfstaengl but the truth is different from illusions beyond imaginations. The lady who ruled the darkest heart & the cruelest mind of history was Eva Braun. Born in Munich Germany on 6th February 1912 was a model that was in a relationship with the most powerful man of his time when she was just 17. The German public was not aware of their love relationship.
Ups & Downs: Every romance has to be tested & goes through hard times so like their one too went through. As their hearts draws closer to each other & seeks love into the each other souls the bunkers of the third Reich filled with fragrance of love when they first met at Hoffmann’s studio of Munich in October 1929. But there were moments when after Geli Raubal’s death on 18th September 1931 Hitler was just seeking loneliness which shocked him the most; changing the perceptions of Fuhrer completely igniting the new era of dark clouds with the stains of blood. It was during this time when Eva Braun started feeling lonely & attempted suicides two times. Throughout 1930s & early 1940s Fuhrer’s household was looked after by Eva Braun situated at the Bergdorf near Berchtesgaden where they partied & enjoy evening together sometimes taking a short walks together with their beloved dogs Negus and Stasi. As the clouds of holocaust engulfed around Europe their souls become lonely. Living in the luxurious complex of her love while her heart was living in the highly fortified bunker of the Reich Chancellery Braun spoke to Speer a supporter & a close ally of Hitler memoirs while reading romance novel: that Hitler is now too busy & never try to intimate her.
The couples spent moments of their secret relationship with love & smoking cigars having fruits in the Fuhrer study where they talk about the politics of Reich & their emotions. Hitler always used to cracked jokes & tease his second half by quoting on her lipsticks, hairs & appearance. But one thing which separates them is their distinct diet as Adolf was a pure vegetarian & doesn’t like cosmetics & products made from animal by products & their body parts whereas Eva loves the reverse.
After learning about the failed assassination attempt on Hitler, Eva wrote to him: “From our first meeting I swore to follow you anywhere even unto death. I live only for your love.”
A marriage of 46 hours: A fter the failed 20 July of 1944 to kill Fuhrer, Eva joined her love at the bunker of the Reich Chancellery of the Third Reich by driving herself from Munich to Berlin in a car in early April of 1945. On 29th April 1945 Hitler made Braun his wife when the enemy was knocking at the gates when she refused to leave him insisting that she was one of the few people left loyal to him. And as they got married with their neighborhood burning they hosted a wedding breakfast for their staff & the members of the inner circle after their brief civil wedding ceremony carried out in the bunker which lasted just for 46 hours. At the final hour of their relationship Hitler & his beloved wife Eva Hitler who he lovingly used to called Frau Hitler or Fraulein Braun gave their final farewell to their staff & the members of the inner circle at 1:00pm on the afternoon of the 30th April 1945 when the members heard the gunshot after few minutes when they opened the door the bodies of the groom & bride were lying lifeless where in the room the greatest romance of the 20th century was took his last breath by ending their lives differently Hitler shot himself at his right temple by his pistol PPK7.66 & his beloved Eva sacrificing her soul by biting a cyanide capsule. With the suicide of these holocaust souls their romance had now came to an end. Braun was 33 & Hitler 56 when they commit suicide after which their souls became one though not in the real world they survived for long but as the true lovers they are now have made themselves one by dyeing together leaving the world to change & curse them since the history of romance itself is great but the end of every great love story had been the same throughout the history & that is dyeing together making the world their enemy.
Though everyone curse Hitler for his doing & the political corners curse Braun as a biggest disappointment of the history but we must not forget that the emotions also exists in the beast where in some deepest corner of their heart love lives which even in the world’s harshest days encouraged them to love each other.
If a person wants to bring a revolution then he needs to become a revolutionary first.
By Adolf Hitler.
emotions are for many but the reasons are for few. Adolf Hitler
In the name of the creator of Beauty!
From the bottom of my heart, I congratulate every single woman in this world on their day.
Women are the most beautiful creation among the beauties. She is the soul of the nature. She gives peace in mind, hope in the moment of despair, meaning for the life.
A woman’s breath and her voice is a taste of heaven. The love of the women sprung out from Paradise. She is the light in the darkest night that shines up everything and the warmness on the coldest day.
Her shoulders carry the weight of those who cry on it, and her arms give the safest comfort making you forget all the worries in the world.
Oh women, you are a mother, sister, life partner and a friend. Every great man in history was born from a woman, and there was a woman standing behind every great man.
If this world is beautiful, it is beautiful because of the women. If this life has a meaning, she gives the meaning for everything.
When she smiles, the whole world smiles, and when she cries, every drop of tear feels like an arrow to the heart.
The woman is a mother, sister, wife, partner in life and the spinal bone of the community and society. The most beautiful creation in the universe. A woman gives a meaning for love and represents the beauty of the nature and should be treated with love, equality and respect.
There is no other word in my mind to complete the greatness of a woman, I can just say, congratulation on your day.
To fall in love
To laugh until it hurts your stomach
To find mails by the thousands when you return from vacation.
To go for a vacation to some pretty place.
To listen to your favourite song in the radio.
To go to bed and to listen while it rains outside.
To leave the Shower and find that the towel is warm
To clear your last exam.
To receive a call from someone, you don’t see lot, but you want to.
To find money in a pant that you haven’t used since last year.
To laugh at yourself looking at mirror, making faces..
Calls at midnight that last for hours.
To laugh without a reason.
To accidentally hear somebody say something good about you.
To wake up and realize it is still possible to sleep for a couple of hours.
To hear a song that makes you remember a special person.
To be part of a team.
To watch the sunset from the hill top.
To make new friends.
To feel butterflies in the stomach every time when you see that person.
To pass time with your best friends.
To see people that you like, feeling happy
See an old friend again and to feel that the things have not changed.
To take an evening walk along the beach.
To have somebody tell you that he/she loves you.
To laugh …….laugh. ……..and laugh ……
Remembering stupid things done with stupid friends.
These are the best moments of life….Let us learn to cherish them.
“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a gift to be enjoyed”